My life is for itself and not for a spectacle

I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. - Ralph Waldo Emerson




me and my troupe went to dance to a commercial event, kind of HUGE.
i was ok. 
then...i realized that i was not that 100% ok.
SO HARD to practice and practice and have to accept the MISTAKES 
as part of the "magic" road
It's so hard to fall in love of the unknown
it's so hard to love the world, the impermanence, the getting old
the distance, the inner - the outside wars
it's so hard to let go
and these days, even if the gray suit people have stolen my TIME
(not even time to type a word in this nattacolorina blog
or time to pray to all the highest superiors super superiors above)
it's so hard to fall in love of this daily mundane
that offers NO answers in the cornflakes box.


I'm just saying that it's not that easy to fall in love of this
whatever world, projection of the mind, illusory dream.


yet I'm not saying that i'm not happy
i keep smiling hard
(i'm ok)
:)


yet 


it is my biggest work 
to leave behind all attachment of the self
it is my biggest daily thought
to make you happy and jump out of this SAMASARA, with-all-of-you. 
It is my biggest vision to focus in the inner path and become a wise
and keep calm while the tropical storm hits my mom's home.


sweet liberation is the goal.
no diets, keep calm, eat tacos


n